分身

這是在ptt上看到網友轉貼的一篇英文文章，實際出處也不可考，只知道是在矽谷盛傳的詼諧文章：

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop.
He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again.
So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb,
please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."

The butcher looks inside and, low and behold, there is a ten dollar note there.
So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placingit in the dog's mouth.
The butcher is so impressed, and since it's aboutclosing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a levelcrossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button.
Then itwaits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walksacross the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable.
Thebutcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and getsin it.
The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor.
The butcher is nearlyfainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus.
The dog thensits near the driver's seat looking outside.
As soon as the stop is in sight,the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor.
Then, withoutwaiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door.
As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and headstowards the garden.
It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcherwatches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher surprised with this, runsup, and stops the guy.

"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV,for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? Thisis the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Moral of the story.....
You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall shortof the boss' expectations.
It's a dog's life after all.....



中譯:

有個肉販看到有隻狗走進他的鋪子裡吃了一驚，肉販把狗噓走，可是沒多久這隻狗又跑回
來，所以他探頭看了一下這條狗才發現狗嘴裡有張小紙條。

他拿起紙條，紙條上寫著「麻煩給我12條香腸和一條羊腿，錢就放在狗嘴裡」

肉販低頭看了一下，哇！還真的有十塊錢耶！所以他收了錢，把香腸和羊腿放入袋子裡以
後再放到狗嘴裡。肉販對這隻狗實在太訝異了，想想又剛好快打烊了，他就決定收攤然後
跟著這條狗看看。

他們沿著路走，來到十字路口的時候這條狗就把袋子放下，跳起來按了行人通行鈕，再叼
起袋子耐心地等綠燈亮起，再行通過這個路口，當然肉販還是緊緊跟著它。

接下來這條狗來到公車站，開始盯著時刻表瞧。肉販很震驚這條狗居然懂得舉起左腳來攔
車，然後搭上了這台公車！肉販跟著上了車，狗把綁在項圈上的車票秀給車掌看，看到這
一幕，肉販就像其他的乘客一樣簡直要暈倒了。狗狗接著坐在司機旁邊看著窗外，當下一
個站牌出現，它就站起來跑去車掌那兒搖尾巴示意他要下車了，不等公車完全停妥，它就
迫不及待地跳出公車往一間離站牌不遠的房子奔去。

它打開了院子的大鐵門，衝向房門，當它接近那道木門的時候忽然改變主意往花園跑去，
它朝向窗戶走去然後用頭去撞它好幾次，然後再跑回房門前等候。肉販看到一著彪形大漢
開了門，然後開始凌虐這條狗！他打它、踢他、還大聲咒罵它！肉販實在不能忍受這種事
，就跑去阻止這傢伙！

「你他媽的再幹什麼!?這是一條天才狗耶！我用我的性命擔保它絕對可以上電視！」
這男人就回答肉販：「你說它聰明？這是這條笨狗第二次忘了帶鑰匙！」

這個故事告訴我們.....
不管你再怎麼拼命，老闆都不會滿足的！
這就是做為一條狗的宿命啊....

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最近這段的不景氣，求職比求才數量還要多，資方理所當然會盡量壓低成本，也不擔心找不到好人才。

而工人化早已經是全球的正常趨勢，同工同酬甚或要求好看的bunes，都已經是幻想。
對我來說，我不怕所謂的壓榨，只要一點點的肯定鼓勵或為數不多的報酬，我還真可以像狗一樣的工作，我這種犯賤人格真是資方們的最愛吧！(燦笑)